The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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