You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
