new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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