Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We talked him into tasing himself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize