omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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