naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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