I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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