Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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