Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
