Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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