Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
