I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
