MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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