I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize