Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
