she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
