still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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