I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
