i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
