i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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