I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
