I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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