I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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