my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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