Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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