We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
