you guys were way drunker than both of me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
