If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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