Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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