She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize