who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
