this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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