Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
