I look better un-naked...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
BRING THE BAGELS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
