her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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