I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
