So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
