whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
