He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this will be a night to untag.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
