I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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