sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize