absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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