she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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