The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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