question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
