she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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