Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
