dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
