Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
