I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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