yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
