Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
