check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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