It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have fence marks all over my body
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
