I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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