I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
