I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We need a shit load of segways right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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