Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
