Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
