I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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