i may or may not be watching the land before time
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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