My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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