Do you still have your period?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
